Star Wars IV: A New Hump
by Oatmealman
Summary: The gang are at it again


Episode IV: A New Hump

Back on a dusty shitbowl shantytown planet, Old Ben was in a bar on the look out for a twi-lek slut. Instead he got a buttface chimpanzee and a pig nosed mutt with Hills-Have-Eyes genes. "You don't belong in our bar, old faggot!" Said the man as he spickered and spattered his gagh all over Obi Wans mouth and cheeks. "Well I guess that makes three of us bitch" *TTTssssuuuooo!* He whipped out his light saber, which at this point was limp and flopped around all cock like, and sliced their dicks off. Ben tossed a coin in the air and slapped it at the bar tender like a baseball. *Toink!* right on his forhead. "Aye, fuck you old cunt!" "Sorry for the mess!" Chewy and Solo Handjob(Wanker) walked up and offered him a ride on their shit shuttle. As a greeting ceremony, they all stood up, whipped out their cocks and started wind-milling to see who could shling their schlocks the fastest. Chewy caused a wind storm. Harrison Ford laughed and broke character as he face palmed.

Princess Leiah was getting buttfucked on the deathstar buy a black dildo droid. "ENough!" Darth Vader said. "We will come back tomorrow princess, and we wont be as pleasing...better have the plans!" *Breath noise* Darth vader got naked and simmered down in the bathtub. He turned on Amy Winehouse as he lit a fat blunt and got high as shit. His eyes were bloodshot red as he had visions of how funny it would be to push Palpatine down a tube. He giggled to himself. An interruption, in the form of a british man in a suit, caught his attention. "My lord, we have arrived at Alderran!" "Get over here and take a hit my nigga!" "The officer obliged and they both got baked."  
"Grand Muff Tarkin, we are ready to deploy the weapon" "Silence! Tell me you whore, where is the secret recepie!" "Its on Dildoween!" "Blow this joint!" The planet was wrecked in a single button push. Laieh blushed red as the entire bridge crew slapped her ass as they left the bridge, Tarkin being last.

Luke was farming cum from a planet and drinking blue milk as his crusty uncle groveled "Luke! I need help shopping for slaves." They met up with some dwarves whom they couldn't understand, so they shot them and stole the goods instead. "How did it go?" Aunt Veru asked. "Very well, we got 10 new droids to help farm moisture. Now pass the milk wife." Owen gulped down all the blue fluid as it ran down his scarred and dry bearded scraggly face. "Ahhhhh, that hit the spot!" Luke was disgusted and ran away like the SJW he is. "I'm too good to be a farmer! Weeehhh!" Uncle Owen threw a rock at him as he sped off. "Fag!" It cracked the winshield. Luke crashed and met up with Ben who trained how to abuse people with the force. "A bunch of mumbo jumbo I saw. I beleive in a solid blaster, not some gay Chi stuff." He shot a few blasts at some empty bottles. Luke played tennis with his lightsaber and a robot ball as they sped through space.

THe death star was under full assault by the Rebel scum. "Gold leader standing by" "Red leader standing by" "Green leader standing...oh fuck..uh..gree...uh..green leader standing by!" The green leader was watching porn on his phone when he dropped it in that annoying crack of the seat where you have to squeeze your arm painfully to get to. *Patchoo! Patchoo!* The towers where blasting their shitty small squadron to a pulp. "Im going in! we need to fly to the ass hole and fill it with probes!" They sped down the trench when Dart Vader came out behind them blasting black metal over the coms" *blast beats* *Screams* Han promptly slammed him his ship off course as Luke shot the torpedo.  
The deathstar exploded while most the flee was in the blast radius, including Mon Mothma, and killed them. Luke returned home to fuck his sister and Han collected his cash and quickly bailed. He gave no damn, as he is a smuggler and not a pussy.

Wedge spent the evening crying and watching Dr Phil while plotting his revenge. "I did just as much worlk as the rest of those niggers. Yet where is my cash and medal? Thankless rebels." The futuristic door bell rang and he said "Come in!" 3 twi-lek sex slaves wrapped their head tentacles around his cock and jerked him offf all night. *Sploooge!*  
he shot a hot load of ship-fuel smelling x-wing sperm right into their ears. 


End file.
